My anxiety is not your anxiety


and vice versa.


Don’t automatically assume that just because I’m able to do things that you can’t that your anxiety issues are worse than mine. You have zero idea how much effort it takes for me to do to things and how much it hurts to do things too. You should also not assume that I am capable of doing the things that you can, even if we are both hindered by similar anxieties.

On top of my anxiety I have fibromyalgia and due to this I may have days where I sit in bed all day and do nothing, and that’s perfectly acceptable, hell that’s perfectly acceptable even if you don’t have anxiety issues and fibromyalgia, we all need rest days.

Your anxiety and my anxiety are not comparable. You can do things that I can’t do and I can do things that you can’t do.

Please don’t assume that because I can stand up and recite my poetry in front of a room full of people that I am “okay” or because I can vlog I am full of confidence. I do these things because I want to eventually be “okay” and I do want to be full of confidence and the only way of getting to that point is to push myself into doing these things.

I push myself out of my comfort zone every single day because otherwise I would be stuck, I would be always thinking about what I could be doing instead and that’s where the stress starts to build from and more anxiety ensues.


Anxiety manifests in many different ways for different people. For example, I know a lady who is filled with dread at the thought of having to drive somewhere new, in fact, I know quite a few people who are hindered in this way but some are more extreme than others. Driving, in general, doesn’t make me anxious but I have to know where I’m going, I like to know where I can park and if there’s enough room for me to do so without reverse parking. This might sound stupid but I don’t want to put myself into an embarrassing situation. I will only reverse park if I feel confident to do so at the time. If I’m going somewhere new I will use Google maps to check it out, I want to see the entrance, exit etc. It really puts me in a panic when I’m in a car park and I don’t know where the exit is. This isn’t a claustrophobia thing, I just don’t want to look stupid driving round and round. In my opinion, there aren’t enough signs on anything these days.

I dread going to my son’s school because the door to their reception confuses me. It’s not clear where and how it opens, there’s an intercom to speak to the receptionist but again there’s no obvious button to press in order to use it, because of this I panic when I have to go to the school for any reason.

I understand how ridiculous this might all sound but unfortunately, that is now how my brain works. I have a million of these little things that fill me with dread. I was going to get to work on another self-help guide but I’ve decided instead to blog and vlog about my anxiety issues as and when. This way it’s accessible to everyone and hopefully shows people that they’re not alone with their insecurities and anxieties, and that it doesn’t matter how ridiculous it might seem, if it’s causing you to panic and feel uncomfortable and brings on an anxiety attack then it is significant and you’re not overreacting, your brain might be, it’s gone way off into panic city but it’s not your fault.

Long, deep breaths can usually be enough to recentre yourself. I know that’s not always the case and sometimes you will go into full meltdown. That’s okay, it’s not the end of the world.



If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it‘ – Erma Bombeck


Published by Kate

I write, therefore I am. I spend my days writing, wondering what to write, being creative and generally being awesome 😊 Welcome to my world, won't you come on in? xx

6 thoughts on “My anxiety is not your anxiety

  1. I love the way you write these blogs and the way you also vlog. Your vlog videos are really good, simple, different and easy to understand. Outlets like these can have such a therapeutic effect not only for yourself but also the reader. I can really resonate with this post and have been encouraged by reading it! Keep sharing. Vulnerability is power 😘 Bernie x

  2. I have a theory, it might be true but equally it might not. Anxiety is not a new thing, but more people are aware of it now and more people suffer from it. But what if people don’t actually suffer from anxiety as we understand it? What if its something of human doing? I don’t mean it in terms of it’s not real or we made it up but more of a biological change/response/evolutionary blip. Humans used to be hunter/gathers, there were animals who wanted to eat us and other humans who wanted to kill us and our senses were developed in a way to help with this (such as the fight or flight response), it could be therefore logical that we had other senses that over time as humans have changed also changed, but as they don’t serve a purpose anymore they show themselves as things like anxiety? But it’s just a theory.

    1. Hi 😊 I’m afraid your theory is already well used as a way to explain why our anxiety is heightened. We’re scared of the sabertooth tiger who isn’t even there and we have no way of burning off the excess adrenalin. This is partly why exercise can be helpful for anxiety sufferers. Unfortunately sometimes we fall way too far down the rabbit hole and anxiety consumes us and no amount of exercise can bring us back round or there’s too much anxiety and we can’t bring ourselves to start the exercise. It’s a pretty sucky situation to be in and I’ve been down the hole and I’ve come back out of it, sometimes running and sometimes crawling. The important thing is I’ve made it out again and I’m stronger for it 😊

      1. And I didn’t even know that, it was just something floating around in my head as I’ve seen first hand too many times how much of a life crippling thing anxiety can be and always wondered where it comes from and if other things would develop in humans over time, or maybe they have but we don’t know.

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