I just don’t do well in groups.
I’m not saying I don’t work well in groups, I can work efficiently in a group, I just don’t thrive in that environment.
On my own I am the idea lady, I can plan, strategise and organise until the cows come home but stick me in a group of women and I may as well be dribbling in the corner. There will always be someone clawing their way in, fighting to be seen, constantly talking over everyone and they have an incessant need to be in the limelight, constantly.
Now, I love the limelight, it’s a great place to be but I’m not about to get into a scathing catfight in order to be in it. I’ll go at my own pace and get where I need to be when I need to be there.
I don’t have the same issue with a group of men though, probably because they don’t tend to be catty, and I have met a few women who admit that they would prefer working with men over women. Women tend to become rather bitchy in a group setting and in a professional setting it’s just not necessary, actually, I don’t really think it’s ever necessary but it happens.
This is by no means a ‘woman bashing’ post. And I do have women in my life who I can spend all day long with but I think these women have the same mindset as I do and that’s why it’s different. Maybe I’m the difficult one? Maybe I’m the reason I can’t work with a group of women? Or maybe there’s just one woman in every workgroup who is the instigator and she’s the problem, maybe I’m viewed as a threat and she has to make herself the loudest and biggest so I don’t take over. Well, do you know what? I don’t want to take over, I’m happy as I am 🙂
I’m not thick, in fact, I’m pretty intelligent, I have some incredible ideas, I execute them well and I work bloody hard. So I’m not about to waste my time and energy on people who can’t see the unfair treatment in a group setting. That being said, it’s not always the case and sometimes it is purely because I’m not a loud, brash person, I’m not meek and mild neither, probably somewhere in between but I’m definitely overlooked in a group situation. Yes okay, maybe I should shout a little louder, jump a little higher, or just go it alone. Which I am doing.
I was recently a member of the blogging group We Blog North, they are a wonderful bunch of people, they’re upbeat, inspirational and they have some great content creators, bloggers etc. I couldn’t get on in the group though and I don’t mean with the people, the people are lovely.
I mean just in a work sense, instead of getting the camaraderie of being in a fabulous bunch of people bigging each other up, I just felt like I was never doing enough and I never would be doing enough.
It could be a confidence issue, it could purely just be my brain being an arsehole, maybe we will never know.
Maybe I do need to be in charge, maybe that is the problem.
I don’t know if this is an anxiety related issue, it could well be but I feel much better doing things for myself and by myself. Maybe I’m just a lone wolf…hunting down those writing opportunities as though they were a frightened rabbit in the woods… That was a terrible analogy but I’m sticking with it. I presume wolves eat rabbits?
(I always stick a quote on the end. They’re always random, I pull them out of a jar that I have. I thought it was weird that this was today’s.)
‘The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on this planet‘ – Adrienne Rich
8 thoughts on “The lone wolf…”
Everyday I feel like the lone wolf and loneliness is a killer. I know a lot of people but have few friends due to trust issues and whilst I very much enjoy their company, I always feel like the lone wolf maybe because my brain is weird and different I don’t know, but even though I have these people in my life I still feel very much misunderstood! Which hurts!
I can work well in groups but I don’t bode well in groups either, maybe because of the dynamics like you say every one talking over one another fighting to be heard. I’m more contented on my own but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have struggles and doubts because I do. Although I enjoy group work I much prefer shutting myself away! Sad really I know but that’s the way I’ve always been!
Love the quote!!! Thanks for sharing x
And thanks to you too! It’s good to know I’m not alone as a lone wolf 😉
Happy in your own skin xx
I am what one might call an “alpha female.” I love grouping with women…just as long as I can bite their bellies lol!
Well we need all sorts to have a beautiful, diverse world and if we didn’t have you alpha females, the rest of them would descend into chaos 😍
THANK YOU! haha!!! I am just doing my part! Trying to pet those lone wolves!
Haha! You’re very much appreciated x