I am scared of something every single day. It could be anything. From the completely rational, ‘what if someone tries to break in’ to the totally irrational ‘what if I choke whilst eating this sandwich’.
I know this is mainly my anxiety coming into play and it makes everything seem a thousand times worse than it is but instead of giving into it or even fighting it, I’m now following it. What reason does my my brain have for keeping me from doing things? Fair enough if I was tightrope walking across a volcano (not quite sure how that would work…) but I’m not. I’m just doing regular, every day things.
The only reason I can think for my brain making me afraid of doing ‘stuff’ is the fear of failure. I’m protecting myself from myself… and that’s dumb.
“I now step out of my comfort zone and into my life.”
I now use that fear as a propeller. Harness all of that energy and put it to good use.
Life is going to throw one thing after another at you, that’s just how it goes. But it will only be a disaster if you allow it to be.
All of the other good s**t is still going on around you and if you’re too busy focusing on how terrible your life is you’re going to miss out on opportunities sitting right there in front of you!
My life isn’t perfect, I have horrifically s**t days, sometimes entire weeks. But I will always look for something positive, no matter how small.
I admit that I have sometimes said yes to things and then panicked about it all the way up until it’s done and sometimes throughout whatever it was. But the alternative is to sit around doing nothing and having regrets.
In the last 12 – 18 months I have showcased my published books, talked on the radio about my poetry, given a talk at a mental health event and played the lead role in panto!
Not because I’m a confident person but because I want to be a confident person.
If I was already super confident these things wouldn’t be a challenge for me. And that’s what I thrive on, a challenge. It’s actually a really exhausting battle. I love to challenge myself and put myself out there but my anxiety wants to hold me back and ‘keep me safe’.
Well, it can sod off!
‘It’s important to watch what you put in your mind‘ – Linda Knight