I’m not making any promises. Not to you, not to myself. I have some basic ideas, some little “goal posts”, maybe an inkling about how what I want in 2022 and I DEFINITELY have very clear idea of how I want to look naked but, again, I’m not making any promises. If I don’t become “beach ready” or reach my optimal look, then it’s no biggie. Who exactly am I trying to impress? I make changes in my life, in my head and to my body for me, to match my feelings, whatever is going on in my life is reflected in my look. And sometimes that look is ‘street urchin’, sometimes it’s ‘fortune telling gypsy lady’, other times it’s ‘super hot sex goddess’ ( I must admit that last one barely makes it out anymore…) But you get the picture, sometimes I feel shit, sometimes I feel great. I am most certainly going to be working on having more ‘feel good’ days, learning to actually FEEL the things and listen to what my body and mind want and need.
It’s time to be doing things because I want to do them, not because I think that’s what I should be doing. I’ve planned out my life several times before, picked a goal, decided that’s what I want, gone full throttle, then got bored and given up. I’ve discovered that I’m at my most happy and content when I don’t really have a plan.
Of course the last couple of years have been kinda shitty, and any and (mostly) all plans have been destined for disaster and I must admit, I’ve sort of loved it. It was like finally being given a free pass to do nothing, have no life goals, just do some stuff when you can, enjoy it and hope for the best!
There was a huge change in our lives this last year, we sold our house, the first house that Chris and I bought together, and we moved into my childhood home. It’s been a bit of whirlwind! But also such a special time. It’s a beautiful house, which has ALWAYS felt like home to me. it has such an incredible energy flowing through it. And now I get to help keep that good vibe going!
And I get to see my Dad everyday, Christopher gets to see his Grandad every day and so far we’ve managed to not kill each other…
It’s been about six months since we moved in and I couldn’t be happier, it’s everything I never knew I wanted. I already adored this house, my Mum and Dad bought it just before I was born, so it’s always been a constant in my life. And to now call it my home once again is a dream come true.
Now that I have the dream house part of my life ticked off I’ve felt like I can start to focus more on other things, one of my goals was always to work towards being able to afford to buy a bigger house and that opportunity arose much quicker than I expected. So, I feel like I’ve been taking some time to adapt, see where I feel like going next or what I want to do. I don’t have a clear answer and I’m okay with that for now. Usually around this time of year I start making major decisions and setting unobtainable goals for myself, well, I’ve decided I’m too f**king knackered for that bullshit. I’m instead going to focus on feeling and looking good…. well that’s at least what I’m telling myself today, but remember, I’m not making any promises…