Well, what can I say? We go way back, 5 or 6 years?
The relationship, I feel, is very one sided. You’re not particularly verbal.

I sometimes feel as though you’d drop me in an instant if another suitor came along at any time. I must admit that that is understandable, it is common knowledge that I use you.

At least I’m consistent though.
Our meetings are very emotional and rapid. I really know how to push your buttons,
every time! I can’t help myself and you always end up in floods of tears. That’s usually the point where I walk away.

I can’t bear to see you in such distress. You always cry, without fail. And these aren’t crocodile tears, you are full on crying me a river.

I can always hear from a distance when you’ve calmed down. I often come back to check if it’s safe, then suddenly you’ll erupt! I mean you go full on melt down, rocking and swaying, like an angry wasp in a teacup.

It’s at that precise moment where I realise I can’t go on like this anymore. This irrational behaviour is bordering on insane, I think you might be slightly unstable.

It’s something I regularly think about. Is it worth holding on and trying to fix this? Or should we just call it quits? I know it’s been a long time but is it even worth all of this hassle?

Then when I think I cannot go on much longer, you seem to relax. The world is quiet, you give out a contented little sigh and everything is rosy again.

I forgive you, until tomorrow morning, when the cycle begins again with the next load of washing.