‘Just remember, these people pay your wages’

Those words are neither helpful nor entirely accurate. Yes okay if the customer base wasn’t there, there wouldn’t be a job, however you wouldn’t have been given that job in the first place because it wouldn’t have existed… I was going somewhere with this but I lost it.

My point is that saying that to someone is dumb. It’s like telling someone to calm down when they are clearly already irate!

So here’s a few tricks of the trade to survive a customer facing role.

1. To get you through the day; plotting elaborate and meticulous ways to murder people is always fun.
2. Pretend that you’re a spy. This job is part of your undercover story. You’re on a mission to save the world, get the guy/girl and serve coffee to these douche bags.
3. Be super nice. Over the top sickly sweet. The bigger the douche the nicer you should be!
4. Try to slip random words in to the conversation. Start a points system, the younger the customer the higher the score; a child is more likely to point out that you randomly said ‘seahorse’.
5. Pick a number at random. That number customer gets to live.

You’re welcome 😉