Not your everyday ‘My Holiday’ post.

  I have just returned from another fantastic holiday with my Mum and my son, we’ve been away together quite a few times and we always have so much fun. I adore the relationship that we have, it’s not like a tolerance because we’re family, I genuinely love spending time with both of them. We always have a laugh, sometimes at each others expense, and there’s plenty of silliness, usually from my Mum and I, whilst Christopher stands there and shakes his head. We don’t get on 24/7 of course, there are disagreements to be had, we’re only human, but … Continue reading Not your everyday ‘My Holiday’ post.

“I believe you are blushing”…

…”Well yes probably and it’s most definitely taken a lot less than the naked form of Rose Dewitt Bukater”   When you feel embarrassed your body releases adrenalin as it gets ready for the natural fight or flight response. The redness that appears on your cheeks is due to the veins under your skin dilating, allowing more blood to flow through them. This is all very interesting sciencey stuff but the question is why? What purpose does blushing serve other than embarrassing us further? Well unfortunately I don’t know because it still baffles the boffins. I flush red at inappropriate … Continue reading “I believe you are blushing”…

How I handle my anxiety attacks.

      You don’t know exactly what the outcome will be. You just believe that your actions are going to be the cause of terrifying disaster. It’s a feeling of severe doom. A feeling that sends an icy chill down your spine and freezes your feet to the spot. The only emotion that you can muster is fear. Tears are burning your eyes, you can’t breathe, you have lost any means of a normal functioning body. Your hands feel ten times bigger than they are, leaving you unable to do anything, ultimately feeling useless. Your legs have become heavier … Continue reading How I handle my anxiety attacks.

I may have just cured my anxiety…

      Okay listen up everyone, I may have made some sort of awesome scientific breakthrough… I have severe anxiety problems. I’m paranoid, stupid things scare me or make me panic, such as zombies, the dark, conversations I had 12 years ago, conversations I had 2 minutes ago, giving off the wrong impression, giving the right impression at the wrong time, worrying about missed opportunities, what the future might now hold. Pretty much everything really. So, my life is going along, dealing with anxiety in the only way I know; deep breaths, meditate, exercise (ha), deal with it. I’m … Continue reading I may have just cured my anxiety…

Sometimes I don’t want to smile, I just want to cry..and that’s totally okay.

    ‘Be brave’ ‘Take it like a woman’ ‘You’re strong, you can do this’ ‘Tough’  ‘Just think about how worse off you could be’ ‘At least you’ve got your health/roof over your head/food in the cupboards’ ‘Insert any another phrase regarding how to face the day bravely‘   Well you know what? No, sometimes I don’t want to do any of the above. Sometimes I want to cry and scream and ask the world why it’s so damn unfair. I have, in the past, spoken many times about being ‘happy’ and how it is possible and you can change … Continue reading Sometimes I don’t want to smile, I just want to cry..and that’s totally okay.

Just one day at a time.

I will promote the importance of understanding mental health issues until it is no longer a taboo subject. I will happily stand up in front of people and tell them how I once found it so difficult to leave the house that my Dad had to literally pick me up and carry me in to the car. I know how it feels to have zero energy because you’ve not eaten for days but every time you put a spoonful of food near your mouth you are on the brink of being sick and it makes you cry. To me that … Continue reading Just one day at a time.

Coping, not cured.

      I have anxiety and PTSD. I have these things due to instances, events and traumas that have occurred during my life. They have caused parts of my brain to break and they might not ever knit back together properly. That’s okay though. I may never be ‘cured’ but I’m learning to cope. My light bulb moment came to me very recently, regarding how my life is just how it should be for now. I have known this before but it’s very difficult to accept it sometimes. You get angry and frustrated at things very easily because of … Continue reading Coping, not cured.

Mental illness and euthanasia – My thoughts

        If a dog is terminally ill we do the kindest thing and we have our dear friend put to sleep, the same goes for cats, guinea pigs, rats or even gerbils. We cannot bear to see them in pain and so we say our goodbyes and allow them to leave in peace. Why then do we have such a moral dilemma when it comes to our human loved ones? If a person is suffering so greatly that they no longer want to be here, shouldn’t it completely be their choice whether or not they live? This … Continue reading Mental illness and euthanasia – My thoughts

You can’t fake happiness

  I’m a big believer in positive thinking but it has to come from a healthy place. You can’t force yourself to be happy and you can’t fake it neither, you’re only going to make yourself ill if you live like this. You need to be aware of your everyday humany-wumany feelings . You’re allowed to be sad, angry, down, envious, upset. These are normal emotions, sometimes it’s just a matter of feeling them in a less volatile way. I’m not happy all of the time and anyone that is, is either full of s**t or are being drip fed … Continue reading You can’t fake happiness

Stop labelling yourself

  I have no doubt what so ever that mental illness is real. I know it is real, I’ve witnessed it first hand, I’ve dealt with it on a personal level. However I do believe to some extent that we are mollycoddling ourselves and exacerbating the situation. As much as awareness needs to be raised in regards to mental health and in keeping people safe we also need to stop viewing it as a personality trait. It is never something to be ashamed of but it’s not something to be proud of neither. As an anxiety sufferer with PTSD and … Continue reading Stop labelling yourself