How to survive your child’s teenage years…

    A teenager’s mind is somewhere best left alone. It’s not working properly anyway and it’s all confused and back to front. Everything you have ever taught your child will be forgotten, I’m hoping they store this information ready to use again once they hit their 20’s… Things like Talking Eating with your mouth closed Using a knife and fork Tying your shoelaces Please and thank you Forming sentences.   Only time will tell. For now all the advice I can offer is this… Say goodbye to your cups, plates, glasses, cutlery, oven dishes, cheese grater. They will all … Continue reading How to survive your child’s teenage years…

How To Survive…Zombies

    Here is my collection of survival tips from the people who were there, eye-witness accounts from the survivors… “You weren’t there man!” This blog post actually incited a panic attack…so enjoy.   Get lots and lots of stabby weapons… Acquire a big, giant off-road vehicle, suitable for driving over corpses. Kill the people who suggest going to police stations, hospitals etc. These people will only continue to make stupid suggestions. They’re better off dead now. Or keep them around to kill later for food. Ditch the friends you have now and replace them with people like Ray Mears … Continue reading How To Survive…Zombies